7. How not to visit Pisa

Well it had to happen, today was not really a success. Off to Pisa we went, on a train that was packed to the gunwhales with other tourists. Andrew had heard at the hotel happy hour last night that there are often long queues so that many people end up leaving Pisa not having climbed the tower, so I sort of had it in my head this might happen to us too. 

As I sat there in the hot packed train I started thinking it was possibly a bit silly that we were all traipsing across the countryside to view a tower that just happened to be leaning, and my mind wandered into the abstract and I thought, well wouldn’t it be handy if they did what they’ve done with a lot of great treasures in this country, and just, well, relocate it a little. Perhaps, say, to Florence. So it wouldn’t be so much the leaning Tower of Pisa, as the Leaning Tower of Florence. And then, what with building regulations and all, I suppose it couldn’t really lean, so they’d have to built it straight up really. So it would be the Perfectly Straight Tower of Florence. 

These are the wanderings of a very idle mind I’ll admit. This is what happens when you switch off from everyday life, don’t watch the news or read your normal papers, or work or engage with a wide variety of English speaking adults. We’ve been reading English papers every day, but by the time you’ve skipped the depressing bits, the only thing left really is the latest revelations about Tony Blair, or whether Posh Spice and Katie Holmes are no longer speaking. 

So anyway, all this meant that my unchallenged mind kept pondering why the hell I was going to see this Tower, and to be honest, by the time I was traipsing through the streets of Pisa, I was actually feeling almost self-conscious about it. So when we finally stumbled upon it, I was relieved to find the Tower was quite pretty, and very lean-y, and it did look like a bit of a miracle that it was standing up. The queue was very short, but it turned out the tickets were pre-booked, and we couldn’t get in for hours. It was a bit of a let down, and I ended up feeling we hadn’t got the most out of Pisa, but we had too much to do in Florence to give up an entire day to it, so we took some photos and headed back to the station. 

Ooh, just remembered one amusing thing, while we were looking for the best place to take our photos, we spotted three really outstanding transvestites. They were all wearing incredibly tight jeans, vertiginous heels, bright tops with plunging necklines, and had serious amounts of plastic surgery. The strangest thing of all was their lips, they were so inflated their top lips curled up towards their pert little noses. One even had some cheek implants I think, so her entire face was just a collection of weird bumps. And there they were, taking their photos of The Leaning Tower of Pisa. All part of the rich tapestry of life. 

We came back to Florence and had some successful shopping, but then arrived back at the hotel to find the Ufizzi is booked out until 4 May – after we leave the country. I’m going to have to find some way round this dilemma. I’ll update you again, and tell you about Florence properly, when I’ve got more to relate.