1. Beijing and The Great Wall of China

Beijing was a very interesting experience. We arrived into the new terminal, which is absolutely huge. After clearing Chinese Immigration Inspection (our first experience with the apparant obsession the Chinese have with military-type uniforms – the officials were all in very elaborate and slightly scary looking uniforms) we followed some signs and found ourselves waiting for a train. The terminal is so enormous there are trains running from the arrivals area to the baggage claim. 

After finding our bags and clearing non-existent customs (there wasn’t even anyone there to accept anything you might voluntarily declare, let alone search a bag) we found a shuttle bus to our hotel. 

Beijing is incredibly polluted. After a short while in the bus I stopped looking out the window as it was too smoggy to see anything except the road and the trees immediately to the side. There are a lot of trees in Beijing but they are fighting a losing battle to clean the air. 

After a shower to wash the 16 hours of travel out of our hair we took a taxi to Tian’anmen Square. Honestly, it was like landing on the moon. The Square is enormous, filled with huge 

buildings of great national importance, soldiers standing to attention, and a swirling cloud of pollution. The grime literally floats through the air, like little balls of dust particles. It is amazing to think Olympic athletes are going to compete here, breathing in lungfulls of this air. 

We stood out as the only non-Asian tourists that we could see and for this reason (we assume) Asian tourists wanted to have their photo taken with us. It was highly confusing the first time, I thought a couple wanted me to take a photo of them in front of Chairman Mao’s tomb, but eventually we worked out the woman wanted her photo taken with me. After a bit more of this we moved on to the Forbidden City. 

We didn’t go inside, as the only non-Asians again we were inundated with offers of tour guides and by now we were seriously tired and hungry, so we decided to find some food. We found a taxi and negotiated a price to take us to the Silk Street Market. The pollution came in handy as we wrote prices in the dust on the car. 

At the Market we had delicious food and 

welcome rest, and I discovered the delights of Chinese toilets – holes in the ground. Some are for, shall we say, liquid waste only. The Chinese are not squeamish about discussing such things. A sign on the door said “These toilets are for pee only. If you do otherwise you will be punished”. Scary. 

In the market we found our earlier experience of bargaining was minor league. In the narrow aisles between stalls we battled our way through dozens of eager traders emploring us to buy their wares. The pressure is intense and they seem to take it as a personal insult if you do not respond by throwing wads of yuan at them. Actually buying something should be an Olympic sport in itself. Start by asking the price. They will grab a calculator and tap it out (language barrier crossed, phew). If you try to leave at this point they will argue, beg, plead and cajole you into staying and naming your preferred price. This is so exhausting you should not show a shred of interest unless you are are reading for a drawn out and increasingly fraught conversation. If you do name a price – say half the starting price – they will look at you like you are stark raving mad and are trying to plunge them into instant poverty and life-long misery. This will continue and if you do hammer out a price they will shake their head sorrowfully as they bundle the goods into a plastic bag and tell you how cheap the price is, and they would only give that price to such as nice person as you, their special friend. 

We got hopelessly lost on our way back to the hotel – a distance that on our map looked walkable turned out to be really very large. When we finally made it we were denied the joy of falling gratefully into bed, as this hotel bed was the type that one gingerly lays themselves upon. It was as hard as a rock, truly no more comfortable than sleeping on the floor. Dueing the night I dreamed that I’d had a serious back injury, leaving me in great pain. I woke to find I was in great pain, but the injury was being inflicted by the bed, so I rolled over and went back to sleep. 

The next day we joined a coach trip to the Great Wall. It is truly a testament to human enndeavour. Apparantly many thousands died making it, and it is no wonder. The section we visited is build on the ridge of a mountain range, accessable by 1400 steps or a cable car. Bill Clinton went on the cable car in 1994 so we thought it only polite to follow his example. Standing on the wall it was unbelievable to me that it was ever made, millions of rocks would have been carried up mountains in freezing winters and boiling summers (I must confess I stood there thinking “why did they bother?” but then I’ve never had an empire to defend so what do I know?) but I think its a good symbol of the will of the Chinese people. 

It was very hot and this section is very steep so we trotted up and down a bit then came down the cable car to run the gauntlet of souviner sellers (and a camel. No, I don’t know why but there it was), do our last bit of bargaining, then back to the hotel. One more sleep on the bed of nails and we were off to the airport for our trip to Rome.